Thursday, January 31, 2008

Ok Ok ... 1 2 3 Here We Go ...

O_O Ok so it's time. Winter is not the best season for me lol. I love it because for 1 its not hot! and 2nd I get to cover up more!

But I put on a lot of weight during winter. I look so juicy in my face -_- barf!

So I Made a Weight Loss Journal the other night. I pretty much wrote out what I will be doing through out the day, things to keep me moving and busy, times I will have my meals, and reminders to DRINK WATER because I can go the whole day without drinking water. I like water Id perfer it over anything else. I hate soda!

So yeah I can basically go a while without drinking anything at all. So I put that as a reminder! so far so good ;] umm what else Well pretty much that. I LOVE veggies so that's no problem. I just know I got to make a change now because I stopped excersing all together since ive been out of school. Im getting cravings and eating bigger portions of food than I use to. So OK time to back it up! WISH ME LUCK! :D I'm aiming for -20 pounds! by the summer!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

1 Promise down another to go

He came unannouced ^_^ This had made my day!

It's keeping me happy today as well.


Billy Bear I love you. ºOº

Heart Smilely Face

Monday, January 14, 2008

Promises....

May his promise to me never be broken. I'm sure my heart would fall at an instint if it were. I try not to make promises that I know I wont be certain to keep. I hope he does the same.

I am in love with him. And all that I do is one step closer to being with him ...

I will continue to wait to be recued.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

saturday morning..... I'm In Love with him

I have my days where I'm down. Then suddly I feel like everything is ok just when I hear his voice then I am lost in the words I love you that he speaks to me. Am I a fool? This feeling I can't explain.

The more my sister Tells me to stop talking to him and all the more my mind fills with ideas to escape. I know she is only looking out for me, but I need a sister not another Mother. She pushes her intuition on me. I'd rather jump into what is there rather than listen to some one elses predictions about my life. I can't live on some one elses senses but my own. May she be cursed with tomorrows events and I too but I hunger to live my life with the one I love. I thirst for a some what "normal" life.

When will I learn? Who knows. I might never. But I know I will forever regret it if I never took the chance to be with him fully. I maybe risking it all to just end up losing more than what I started out with. But I'll never know unless I tried! I'll only learn more. I have been through series of pain before. I have become wiser. Only Loveing someone is much more difficult to explain. I have never wanted to be with someone so badly. I am not giving up now.

I'm
Agonizing each passing day dreadfully. He may not be one you’d say is intelligent in school related subjects, he may not have much money, but I don’t care for those things. I would pick to live on love alone if it meant dieing on the streets if it came to it for whatever reason. Why does love have to be placed on materialism. Almost saying to someone "NO your not allowed to love because he/she doesnt qualify". The love that is here is unexplainable. I only hope he never loses faith in us. My sister is making it hard for him to rescue me from my house. He thinks she hates him. She doesn’t but she doesn’t like him. I don’t care about that. She’s not the one in love. She wont be the one to be with him. I will. And I want nothing more in this world than to spend my life with him. I love Billy. My heart .. It hurts at times for how much I feel for him… May he help me escape the nagging energies of my home soon. I cant stand another day….

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Eh... JOBS AH!

This at home job is getting on my nerves.

So anywho yeah a monthly check wont do for me. Not if ASI is going to be my "real" job.

Im a go check out that Tea Garden.. I love that place. I hope they're still hiring.. if not then i hope at the mall .. lol i dont care i just need to start saving up for school and i just want to feel a little independant!

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

-_- Hurt Over and over again ...

I just can't believe I got ready. I got dressed. I didn't wear any make up because he's always said hes wanted to see me without it. But he never came.

I feel like I'm setting myself up for heartbreak. What am I waiting for? Does he even love me and if he does, does he want all of me sad face

I'm lost and I know I can escape it fully, But why is it him that I want. Does he take me seriously at all. I'm scared. I can picture everything with him, but does he do that with me. Who knows. I really dont ....

Where is he tonight. He never called. I really thought he was going to show up at my door and ask for me. That would have broke the chain. He didnt come. He didnt call me at all. And I bet he's not even thinking about me right now. He's probably with her. So what the hell do I do. I can try to move on and pretend it doesnt hurt me but who am I kidding. I think I should. But I'm stupidly awaiting him. Possibly setting myself up...

Monday, January 7, 2008

Hurry up and END January!

>_< This month is sucky so far.

I think that dance job was a fake after all.

I started my at home job today the HR Dep. anyway. It was ok. I had no interviews today I was surprised. Maybe tomorrow.

Hmmmm whatelse can I yammer about... Well I took a good nap. I wasn't feeling so good. Nasty headache. Plus I was feeling a little down :< I miss my Billy terribly. I wish I could see him again.

-_- I'll post more later. Maybe more will happen in the next few hours. 6:09PM

Sunday, January 6, 2008

First Entry!

:) Hi. I'm Gigi!

Today is January 6,2008 11:37 A.M.

I'll Write more later.