saturday morning..... I'm In Love with him

I have my days where I'm down. Then suddly I feel like everything is ok just when I hear his voice then I am lost in the words I love you that he speaks to me. Am I a fool? This feeling I can't explain.

The more my sister Tells me to stop talking to him and all the more my mind fills with ideas to escape. I know she is only looking out for me, but I need a sister not another Mother. She pushes her intuition on me. I'd rather jump into what is there rather than listen to some one elses predictions about my life. I can't live on some one elses senses but my own. May she be cursed with tomorrows events and I too but I hunger to live my life with the one I love. I thirst for a some what "normal" life.

When will I learn? Who knows. I might never. But I know I will forever regret it if I never took the chance to be with him fully. I maybe risking it all to just end up losing more than what I started out with. But I'll never know unless I tried! I'll only learn more. I have been through series of pain before. I have become wiser. Only Loveing someone is much more difficult to explain. I have never wanted to be with someone so badly. I am not giving up now.

I'm
Agonizing each passing day dreadfully. He may not be one you’d say is intelligent in school related subjects, he may not have much money, but I don’t care for those things. I would pick to live on love alone if it meant dieing on the streets if it came to it for whatever reason. Why does love have to be placed on materialism. Almost saying to someone "NO your not allowed to love because he/she doesnt qualify". The love that is here is unexplainable. I only hope he never loses faith in us. My sister is making it hard for him to rescue me from my house. He thinks she hates him. She doesn’t but she doesn’t like him. I don’t care about that. She’s not the one in love. She wont be the one to be with him. I will. And I want nothing more in this world than to spend my life with him. I love Billy. My heart .. It hurts at times for how much I feel for him… May he help me escape the nagging energies of my home soon. I cant stand another day….